Jamsaheb

Many incidents happen in our day-to-day life but we can not remember all of them or don’t give much importance. Few can stir our heart and awake us from deep silent sleep. Such incident of my life is related to my MA.

Every one loves mother and so I. I think I had always been TAKER and MA had been GIVER. Since my birth I kept asking for something and she never denied for anything. Her tenderness and unconditional love made me feel the princess in my own paradise. She never acted like mother but was my best friend; I could share everything with her.

It was very tough for me and MA to separate from each other but had no option I wanted to make my career and she wanted me to achieve greater heights in life. I left for Pune for M.B.A. With heavy heart I said bye to my MA. Everyday we were in touch through cell phone. She used to ask about breakfast, lunch and dinner and I kept complaining about the food and on phone many times she cried by worrying for me. We were planning her visit to Pune after my exams so we can spend quality time together.

It was the first internal paper of my M.B.A. As usual in the early morning I talked to MA, she asked about the breakfast and luckily I had taken Idaly so nothing was there to complain about. By hearing her voice I got the idea that she was ill. I asked her the reason and the reply was just not feeling well, might have viral fever but will get well soon. I asked for her blessings. She said “You will get everything you want; the world is yours, beta my blessings are always with you”. For few minutes I felt something different, could not concentrate and was feeling like something is there behind her words. I still can feel those words with her voice and tone.

The next day I got the news she had left me forever. It shocked my senses; I could not speak and could not react. Just my tears were expressing my pain. Suddenly I lost my paradise, I lost my MA. I had lost the title of princess. All the unsaid promises remained in darkness; all the said things vanished in air. The world has changed for me. Words from relatives were pinching me like needle. Her words were floating in my eyes “You will get everything you want; the world is yours, beta my blessings are always with you”.

Shortly, life went back on track and started concentrating on career by thinking that just fulfills her dream for me of becoming a Career Queen. But still that feeling of taker is not leaving me. It’s putting me in terrible situation that I could not give her anything. I wanted to do many things for her but never got the opportunity. I have never spoken to her about all those things which I wanted to give her. She made me princess but I wanted to make her Queen which I could not do. I am feeling deep guilty for all those things. During our last talk also she gave me everything by her blessings. Even at the end I remained TAKER.