I'm Good

I take firm decision. I don’t know this is good quality or not. Ocean says I should keep two options always, he might be right but I never do it in my personal life. I believe in doing with determination. Whatever I do I give my best to it and I always get the expected result and sometimes more than expectations. For the first time I failed, I am not taking it professionally because to get in Navy was not a career option like other jobs. It was my passion to do something for country. I know there are other better ways to serve the nation but I believe by being in armed forces I could be in the front row. I always wanted to do something different about which a common girl has never thought. It was craziest desire to wear white uniform with golden stripes on shoulder and a name tag along with the rank.

I don’t understand how one can think for another option before getting the result. I do things by believing that I’ve got only one chance in life to do it and later on I should not have any regret that I didn’t give my best. So I do it as I’m dying and this is the best thing I can do in end moments. But I have regret for Navy because someone did not allow me for it and how could I give up for my dreams, I was very stupid that I had believed it and missed my chance. When I awaken it became too late. But now I have no option other than accepting the reality.

I was thinking that Defense needs smart and good person with high moral values. When I failed, initial thought came in my mind was that I am not a good person but then I analyzed myself and I found by not getting in, in Indian Navy does not mean that I am not a good person. I am still a good person, I try not to hurt anyone, I care for my friends, I am honest, I have guts to accept my mistakes. I do charity work which I don’t need to tell every one that see I am doing such a great work. If I keep saying all these means I am doing for show off and which is not my interest. I do it because I am really concerned for it and I think if my little help can make someone’s life better than it’s my true earning of life. Earning of self satisfaction which is very important because one should feel relaxed and joyous by own actions. If I’m not happy with my doing then there is no meaning of doing it. Success doesn’t mean money or fame. If self is satisfied, it is an achievement.

For the first time I felt discrimination of being a small town girl in SSB. Earlier I could not realize it but now day by day I’m learning from SSB. In interview he asked me other than my city how many other cities I have visited. This means he wanted to know whether I’m truly small town girl. Later when I replied the reason for my fitness that I go for my little jog every morning, sarcastically he asked Oh is there any place for jogging in your city? what is this? does he mean that a small town girl can not do anything? It’s wrong; he might have forgotten that Gandhiji, Dyanand Srswati, Sardar Vallbh bhai, APJ Kalam belong to a small town. In many questions he made me felt that I’m from small town and from business background which means I’m not suitable for armed forces but I think this is unfair. It’s the person’s quality which makes him/her suitable to a particular work but finally he gave preference to all of those girls who were from Defense Background.