Fantastic Free

I’m amazed how we all enjoy the things called free even though we are aware that it’s not free at all, there is always hidden cost. After all no one would run business in loss. It’s so funny to believe in all these Fantastic Free Fundas.

One day such free funda electrified my mind when I realized that I am investing my 4-5 days’ salary on communication media. It was out of my defense budget so I thought let me cover the distance between Jamnagar and Cochin as I really didn’t want to “Karlo Duniya Mutthi Me” and I got the new connection of so called free scheme from Gujarati Managed Business House. Later on network expanded in free to Bhubneswar and even in Jamnagar and sometimes towards Nagpur and finally Cochin got replaced by Port Blair. So I had controlled Whole India in my Cell Phone which covers geographically world’s 16% area so I was Happy that my free ka funda was worth investing. At the sametime my ears must be asking for mercy from me and about which I didn’t care. Finally Service provider had showered their blessings on my ears and said Tathastu to free scheme on very auspicious day of Rakshabandhan, Hayeeeeeee Free ka Bandhan tut gayyyyyyyyya. Yes, one more like this, only at the end of advertise they simply say “Take Care” I don’t understand for what they advise us to take care, from side effects of their highly marketed products?????? Like hair fall in free with purchase of shampoo or fairness in free with cream which contains acids and burns our face hair to shine and we feel yesssssssss I have become fairer. More than this, to create a feeling of Apnapan in free they use desi words like “Apna Khayal Rakhna” from the mouth of videshi models.

This was something market related free scheme but what about in real life. What would one boyfriend get in free along with the new title BoYFriEnD? Let me guesssssssss. Oh so called emotional wordssssssss “Honey I miss you like anything” and some nicknames which he had never expected before, of course how can he expect him to be a Gadha or Popat??? Always his cell phone beeps when he is too busy with his high profile job and when he checks the message all the free words (few words must have been chewed by rats on the way as she always writes in short forms) are written like it has been written in Upnishadas and at this situation he must be feeling like a character of Kalidas’ famous poem MEGHDUT on which clouds pours her soul mate’s (yeaaaaah they can not tolerate each other even for a dinner but they think they are SoUlmAte ) message. Sometimes unnecessarily he has to wish her girlfriend’s friends on their so called special occasions, even if he forgets his friend’s occasions but he can’t of his girlfriend’s…….. And yes if he doesn’t receive her call then ohhhhhhhhhhhh he has to face the world’s greatest script writer’s dialogues from her and I think all prime time serials are using these dialogues in free.

One day I heard two ladies gossiping, one was saying today finally I’m going to tell my bahu “see now it’s enough, you both have taken enough time, now I want to have grand children (mind it well its Plural not singular), before I take last breath I want to play with them (senti + mental sentence along with hope to live upto her century in free)” I thought to interrupt and tell her”OOO hellllllllooo, marriage is not a license to get kids in free and it costs lot to the country like India which is going to overtake China in 2050 in population terms”. But I left quietly because my free advice could cost lots of hatred from other people also in free to me. Enjoy all the Fantastic Free Fundas around you which you would get in frrrrrrrrreeeeeeeee.